My Parents

Our trip to Japan has been bookended by the loss of both my parents. My mother died on December 5th, just a day after we arrived in Naha on Okinawa. She chose MAID after a tough year of pneumonia and a recent lung cancer diagnosis. She was 88 years old.  Our relationship was complicated.  I was very close to her for much of my life,  but situations in recent years prevented us from continuing that relationship. 

My dad died quite unexpectedly of an aortic dissection on January 17th. It was diagnosed just the day before. My sisters and I were all able to talk to him before he went. Joan was there in person and Sheila and I via video.

I am grieving the best parts of both my parents. I’m grieving that my mother’s abusive childhood prevented the childhoods we both needed. I am also grieving the lost opportunity to find a way forward with with my father after my mother’s death. I think it would have happened. I’m grateful that I was able to say goodbye to each of them and let them know how much I care. 

We have spent the last few days on Okinawa seeing more of the beautiful places this island has to offer. We cycled to the Shuri Castle and palace gardens the day I lost my dad. It was a beautiful place to be. Yesterday we cycled to visit a collapsed limestone cave where one of the oldest human skeletons found in Japan was discovered. The 20,000 year old remains, known as Minatogawa Man, were found in a crack in the side of the dramatic gorge.

We fly home tomorrow